Be thou my vision

This has been an eventful and exhausting weekend here at the hospital where I have been since Friday morning. Anna got you up to speed on Saturday. I had hoped to make a post Saturday night but the wireless access in the room wasn't working. Anya began developing a rash on Sunday on her buttocks and right hip. Initially the doctors thought it was a heat rash from laying on that spot too much but as it has spread over her belly, back, groin and thighs they now believe that it is possibly a reaction to one of the antibiotics they are giving her. Please pray that she would be relieved of the itching and burning sensation from the rash and that they would determine its cause. Anya slept well last night; much better than me. I was unable to sleep past 3:00am so I've had about eight hours of sleep since Friday morning. Attempts at napping during Anya's naps today have been unsuccesful. Please pray that I would be able to sleep well tonight and wake up tomorrow refreshed.

As Anna mentioned today Anya had a spinal tap, bone marrow aspirate, and "permanent" port placed in her chest. The port placement was successful and now Anya will recieve IV's and have blood drawn from a single central line with only one "poke" per hospital visit. This central line remains in her, under the skin on the center of her chest, throughout the course of her treatment. Initial test results on the bone marrow aspirate indicate that there are still leukemia blasts in the bone marrow. Best case scenario would have been that there were no visible blasts today, but the doctor is not surprised at Anya's test results because the amount of swelling in Anya's liver and spleen last week indicated a large number of leukemia blasts. Due to these bone marrow test results Anya will need another bone marrow aspirate next Monday, which means she will not be released that day. I have not been told when they expect to release her. Anya's moods continue to swing severely. One moment she will be joking with me and the next she will be crying out about missing Esther or her rash. The "emotional roller-coaster" is wearing me down and I need God's strength to stand strong through this. I am able to provide Anya with gentle care but I am becoming irritable with the nurses, certain situations that arise, and any noise from outside the room that interferes with Anya or I sleeping. I need patience, and I need it right now! The doctor's main hopes for Anya right now are that she will have a bowel movement, get rest, and move around in the room a little bit.


In the midst of all this God continues to speak gently to me through my pain and exhaustion. There is one CD that I play frequently for Anya to fall asleep and one of the songs is the hymn Be Thou My Vision. God has spoken powerfully to me through the words of this song. May they be an encouragement to you as we seek to keep our eyes focused on Jesus regardless of our circumstances. May He be our vision, no matter what we see.

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word
I ever with thee, thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I thy true Son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my battle shield, sword for the fight
Be thou my dignity, thou my delight
Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower
Raise thou me heavenward, O power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, after victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.